The most beautiful language of human is praise, and the most beautiful voice of human is also praise.William James, a famous American psychologist, once said: "one of the deepest attempts of human nature is to expect to be praised, admired and respected."It can be said that hope to be respected and praised is a deep desire of people.
Everyone likes to listen to praise, because praise can arouse people's deepest sense of pride and achievement, so that they can have a good mood. At the same time, praise is also the investment of the highest income of human beings. When the other party accepts our praise, they also accept us, which naturally shortens the distance between them,Our living and working environment will be more harmonious.
Of course, praise is to pay attention to certain skills, need to master a certain sense of propriety, praise to be unconventional, can let the other side.The conventional praise will only make the other party feel that there is nothing new to say, and can not play a real role in praise.
If we are good at observing, digging and finding the advantages that others have not found, then the praise words will be more innovative and sincere, and will leave a good and deep impression on the praised people.The workplace needs praise more. As a subordinate, in order to carry out the work smoothly, we must have a good relationship with the leader. The unconventional praise often makes the leader very useful, and it also needs certain skills to wear the "high hat".
Andy works in the administrative department of a large advertising company.Because of the nature of her work, she is very good at speaking and praises people when she meets people. But because of this, many colleagues think that she is not sincere and do not know whether her praise is based on sincerity.
Andy's leader is a lady who is very fashionable and can match clothes very well. She always shows up in different costumes every morning. And Andy seems to be a commentator on her daily dress.Praise doesn't matter. The key is that every word of praise from Andy seems to change its flavor, which embarrasses the manager. However, Andy doesn't notice it and continues to carry out his "fashion review" work.
One day, the female manager walked into the door. She was going to bypass Andy's eyes, but she saw her saying, "Wow, manager! I bought a new suit, didn't you?The style is good. It must be the limited edition of this year.You see, this color is so bright! It looks more noble and generous on you. "
The leader is not a noble person. She doesn't like people's comments on her dress. Listening to Andy's every word, she just squeezes out a smile. Andy thinks his praise works.
The next day, the manager almost didn't want to enter the company through the main door, but her office could only pass through the office area. She almost walked into the office in the face, but Andy saw her."Look! Another set, isn't it expensive?It's good to be a manager. There are necklaces and earrings. Are they new?I don't have the ability to dress up like you do. "After so many torments, the leader did not dare to speak to her. Who knows what unreliable compliments she would say in front of other colleagues?
One day, the leader was really annoyed by her, so he called her to the manager's office and said to her, "I'm not criticizing you, but sometimes not everyone likes to be praised by you. Besides, you should know, either you haven't seen it or new clothes. Some of my clothes have been worn for five or six years, but they are well maintained, so they are different with each other. You yell,People think that my life is so luxurious! Please don't talk about my clothes in the future
After hearing these words, Andy realized that his previous efforts were not only useless, but also counterproductive.
Here, Andy's purpose is to praise the leader and make the leader feel happy, but on the contrary, she also committed two big taboos of flattery: first, the compliment is not new, and it's repetitive, which makes people feel uninteresting. second, the element of banter is too large and insincere, which makes people feel that it sounds harsh, and the leaders naturally can't accept it.
In view of these two taboos, we can also work from the following two points:
1．Praise should be fresh.Try not to praise the obvious advantages of leaders, because leaders have been used to them. At most, they just smile and flatter others in the conventional sense.You might as well do some in-depth understanding of the leadership, mining some of the leadership's internal advantages, such praise can be unique, will let the leader's eyes shine.
2．Praise with sincerity.In the example above, Andy's words are uncomfortable and ironic, even if she doesn't realize it.Praise should be from the heart, is a natural act of good will, you do not need to rack your brains, deliberate, do not need you to pay attention.To make our praise more sincere, we can pay attention to the following points:
Not only Feimei others, but also take the advantages of others as an example to learn from. Only by turning words into actions can we convince others and help you more easily.
Indirect praise.For example, you can use the argument point of view, let the other party persuade you, admit your own advantages, more valuable than you say.
Pay more attention to the people around you.Praising and complimenting leaders are not only good words, but also nice words.This is not only for the leaders, but also for the colleagues around them. A word of concern and solicitude is more impressive than the praise that has racked their brains.
In short, there are many ways to get ahead in the office and win the favor of leaders and colleagues. But praising leaders and colleagues is an essential means to become a popular person, the cornerstone of establishing good interpersonal relationship, and a benign catalyst for career success.